Susan Crain Bakos expresses the sentiments that some Caucasian women feel about favoring African American men for intimacy in her article titled "A White Woman Explains Why She Prefers Black Men" on the New York Press web site posted Wednesday, December 14, 2005. Even though this article is five years old, she makes some valid points in the context of her argument for preferring black men.
The sensation of the skin is the premise of her argument abutted by the experience of loneliness by more middle-aged Caucasian women. She implies that as Caucasian women age, they are left with limited choices for intimate fulfillment through becoming a Cougar, dating inter-racially, or remaining alone due to the lack of interest by white males in their peer-group.
Black & Decker Saw
There is some validity in her theory, but the assumption is that African American men would some-how appreciate a Caucasian woman as a lover for just being Caucasian. This is a common mistake that many women in this situation make because it would be similar to driving a high-end luxury car with over 200,000 miles and trying to sell it for a profit to a working-class person evolving into the lower middle-class. The philosophy is that race would exempt Caucasian women from the same standards set by African American men for all eligible women.
It is not a distant reality for Caucasian women with this template mind-set to find themselves being under-appreciated by black men. The primary reason for this lack of appreciation has more to do with the perceived associated value of them compared to black women. In essence, she settles for a black man and he sees the white woman as a step up the social ladder in respect to status. This approach probably worked in the 1940's that attracted more educated and well-rounded African American men. Today, some African American men are not impressed by skin-color alone, and some of these women in their mid-forties or older may find themselves going down both the age and economic scales in the African American community to find these men.
Basing one's approach to a certain group or type of people on specific characteristics can be classified more as a fetish. The social stereo-type of the black man lusting after the older white woman may exists in some reaches of society, but these women find themselves in competition with younger and more exotic women of all ages.
There are some African-American men who will not date Caucasian women who have dated a black man before. The rationale is that these women commonly fall into the category of trying to identify culturally with slang and other mannerisms. Many of these guys date Caucasian women to escape the stereo-types and realities that is readily associated with being black. They prefer fresh Caucasian women or those who have never dated outside their race to ensure that they are getting the woman of choice in true cultural form.
Women who are into black men as a fetish may have a certain preference in tone and contrast against their skin. Also, these women are oblivious about the social cost of being with a black man in that they are devalued in some way by main-stream society. Arrogant women may find it harder to attract some of the more educated and well-rounded black men.
The fundamental problem that people ignore before entering into a relationship is the reason why they are together. Sex, companionship, and lust are all valid reasons with their own merits, but there is another, the position of power. Some Caucasian women date black men for the purpose of humiliating African-American women, while others may be sincere about their commitment to the individual instead of his race or ethnicity.
The woman that genuinely falls in love with the person rarely has a set agenda beyond the scope of pursuing a relationship. It should also be noted that these women who are sincere are devoutly committed to the relationship and therefore become viable partners. The aesthetic make-up of the couple is a benefit to these women long after their emotional requirements are met. In the case of those women with the stereo-typical fetishes associated with black men are more important than the person. In essence the bed-room experience sought is more important than the human-being. A sense of exploitation exists for both parties.
The question that both African American men and Caucasian women must answer before embarking on a relationship as any is "What is the purpose of it?". Is the relationship based on a sexual curiosity, fetish, love, lust, or an agenda to be met.
Jausan | September 15, 2010 ©
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